Harry Potter - Hellion!

 

The children made it quickly through the dusty particularities of Flourish and Blotts, as Harry simply walked to the desk and said "Two hundred copies of the seven years at Hogwarts, now! Add the best books you have on herbology, the defense against the dark arts, transfiguration, charms, and potion making, including a basic preparation manual, and an elementary interactions between ingredients book. Add one hundred each of care of magical creatures, numerology, runes, and basic spell dynamics!"

The bookstore owner looked at the kid wide-eyed.

"Are you aware of the cost?"

"So? I could buy the bookstore and be done with it. I just do not want you to find yourself unemployed."

After the store clerk blinked several times in shock, Harry looked at him.

"Do I have to take my business elsewhere?"

"No, no. Let us see... That is five hundred twenty-two thousand galleons rounded down to the nearest galleon," said the man as he used an abacus with some dexterity denoting a long use of the archaic calculator. "How do you plan to pay that?" doubting the eleven-year old could have that much gold anywhere on his body as the only thing he did see was a rather non-impressive purse. His eyes opened wide as Harry began pulling gold coins out of said purse, that seemed to be bottomless. The clerk yelled for help at the back office, and Florean walked in.

"What is the issue here?" he said as he looked at his apoplectic clerk.

"I just sold for five hundred and twenty-two thousand galleons, Mister Flourish, and the kid is paying it right off. And it is real gold, with the mark of the goblins. I need help to move the coins to the safe."

As Flourish looked at the mounting pile of gold, he also noted that the books were not being delivered.

"I will handle the gold, Patrick, you get the book order filled from the back store."

Flourish lifted one thousand coins with a Wingardium Leviosa spell, and guided them to the back room, dropping them in the coin counter. The total reported one thousand galleons, so no fakes in the lot, much to his surprise.

"Blotts! I need help, we are making the sale of the century. Help me move the coins to the coin-counter and once we are done, we will help Patrick fill in the order."

Blotts, a rather lazy whale of a man, got up, and made his way to the counter, to find it groaning under gold, more gold than he had ever seen in his life. Greed gave him the energy needed and he too began lifting the gold to the coin counter. An hour later, they were done and the count was exact. By then Patrick had managed to get all the books related to potions out to the front, only to see them disappear in trunks as each child took their copy. The same process was being repeated for each book. By 17:00 the raid on the bookstore was done.

"Okay everyone, the pots and pans, which should be quicker as they come in kits, then we go raid poor Tom’s kitchen. I can hear tummies groaning from famine!" said Harry, as he led everyone to the magical pans and pots store.

Flourish heard the comment and told the others to order replacements for today’s sale from publishers while he made a run to the Leaky Cauldron to alert Tom of the impending invasion of locusts. Tom laughed at the man, telling him it would only save him delivery as everything was already prepared.

---

The Magical equipment store was woefully understaffed and under-stocked. Harry was feeling like a tempest brewing, so he called the owner.

"You got one of each on the list?"

"Yea."

Put them on that counter, one beside the other."

"What will that do?"

"Do it, before I blow a gasket!"

The store owner, not wanting to know what a gasket was, but knowing what a pissed off mage could do, decided to execute the order on the spot, however odd that was.

"What is the value of the stock on the counter?"

"About one thousand galleons. The costliest is the gold cauldron and the crystal one."

"Okay, two hundred multiplied by one thousand equals two hundred thousand galleons. Not much. Here, you get paid even if you do not deliver. Gold is only so rare as you do not have your own gold mine in Gringott’s I think." As Harry took one thousand galleons out of his pouch, a new set of apparatus appeared on the counter, to be immediately shipped into the next child’s trunk. The owner looked at the mounting pile of gold with awe.

"What do you mean, a gold mine in Gringott’s?" asked the shopkeeper, while his son carried the gold to the coin counter crate.

"That thing is directly linked to my account at Gringott’s. I am not likely to run out of money any time soon given I receive from just about every store in Hogsmeade tithes for the right to be on my lands. And it is been accruing for so many years at a compound interest that was never honored by the Goblins they own me their asses. I also own interests in the forms of shares in just about every business in the village and in this Alley. I have a 20% share in yours, if you look at your books. Think twice before trying to doctor the books, I am not feeling very forgiving about the magical world lately!"

Once everything was stored away, the kids made their way to Tom’s only to find they were expected, and there was a scrumptious meal for them to devour.

"Eat the meal, not the plates," said Harry. "Those are recyclable!"

"Can we eat the tables?" asked a blond five-year old Dennis-the-Menace wannabe.

"Only as toothpicks," replied Tom, laughing.

"Guys, gals, I have an unpleasant visit to do, and I want you to stay here. Those I am about to visit are not above taking you as hostages if you came with me. Sirius, you guys keep them happy, quiet, and safe!"

"Yes, Harry. Do not worry."

"I always do when it comes to wand-weavers. They have betrayed my trust more often than not. I will be back in an hour."

Harry exited back to Diagon Alley and walked to the doors of Gringott’s that were about to close. The guard let him enter, expecting him to go join one of the adults still in line. Harry patiently waited until the last customer exited the bank and then made his way to the cashier that was busy closing his books for the night.

---

"Ragnok!" Harry asked in a voice that froze Hell over.

The goblin looked at the boy that was about his size.

"What is he to you, human?" he smirked.

"I asked for Ragnok, are you Ragnok?"

"No, and I do not think you will see him, today or ever."

"I decide when ‘ever’ applies, Goblin. I gather he is in his office, as there is need to consolidate the books after closure?"

"Yes. How do you know banking procedures?"

"My turn to sneer, Goblin. Not everyone is as stupid as they look. Clothing is only a way to hide whom we are. I came bare, that should, in itself, give you food for thought, that is, if you are still active up there."

Harry turned left, clearly indicating he knew where Ragnok’s office was. The goblin tried to move but found he could only breath and whimper. The walk to Ragnok’s office was circuitous, done to mislead the non-goblin, but Harry made his way to it as if he had used a point-me spell. Reaching the ornate door, Harry knocked, to be invited to enter in the Goblin’s language. Ragnok was busy reviewing a report and did not lift his head from it as Harry made his way to his desk.

"Put today’s in-takes and out-takes on the desk, Jack-Hammer, and leave."

"I am not your comptroller, Ragnok. I am your worst nightmare!"

Ragnok pushed back violently, falling on his bum in the process.

"How did you get in here?!"

"Ah, so you know who I am! You also know I do not tolerate betrayal. You were supposed to destroy a horcrux on orders of the Queen, and you did not. You betrayed your word, you betrayed your Queen, you betrayed me, as the owner of the vault, and you betrayed your magic. I am here to claim payment on all accounts. Betrayer, I condemn you to the removal of your magic! So mote it be!"

Ragnok felt his magic being torn from him, and he began yelling in excruciating pain. At the end of the extraction process, barely a minute later, he had lost his mind, his magic, and even his appearance, as he looked like a cross between a deformed chimpanzee and a baby Troll abandoned on the dark side of magic. The yell had been heard and a high-ranking official made his way to the office.

"What happened here? Who are you? And who is that?"

"I am Lord Harry James Potter, and that beast is what is left of Ragnok for betraying his word, not only once, but repeatedly, not only to me but to the Throne of Camelot, to the owner of the vault, and to magic itself. Now, goblin, will I need to recall every knut owned to me by this bank for things to be done when I order them?"

"What is it you require, Lord Potter?"

"Bring to me Hufflepuff’s cup, illegally stolen from my inheritance by one named today Voldemort. Now! It is stored in another of my vaults, under Bellatrix Lestrange. Since magic proves to you by its transference under my name of said vault, I will not put up with any chicanery from your race, or, believe me, you will regret it!"

"But..."

"No buts, or your butt will not be at a very comfortable temperature! Got it? You, as the operating race of that institution, have defrauded my accounts in the order of several trillion galleons, by not fulfilling your obligations to pay compound interests on several of my willed accounts, including, but not limited to ten of the Round Table Knights, the founders of Hogwarts, Hogwarts, the tithes collected from the merchants over the thousands of years I or my ancestors have owned these lands, and, most importantly, to Merlin Ambrosius! I own you, lock, stock, and barrel! I own your clothes, Goblin, your family, and your descendants for the foreseeable future. Count yourself lucky I am not interested in slavery!"

As the human was still standing there alive, he had not lied once, much to the dismay of the bank officer. Looking at what once was Ragnok, he walked out, called in Griphook, a young Goblin that had just taken office as cart driver, and ordered him to bring him to Vault two hundred and fifty-two, the Lestrange vault. Once there, he quickly opened it, and looked from outside for the cup. Spotting it on a pedestal, he used goblin magic to take it out, noticing that any other magic would trigger the defenses, including a very deadly infinite multiplication one that would have eventually burst the bank out of the ground.

Not touching the cup, he quickly made his way up to the ex-bank director’s office.

"I hope it was quick enough for your satisfaction."

"It depends if you tried to double-cross me, Goblin."

Harry felt the darkness of the cup, and nodded.

"That is the one. Take the garbage out, Goblin," as he pointed at Ragnok, "and close the door. It is for your safety."

The goblin, too shocked at what was happening to finagle on some wizard being left alone in an office, quickly grabbed Ragnok by the neck, and throwing the fighting and screaming left-over on his shoulder, walked out.

As soon as the door closed, Harry put the cup on the ground, changed into a basilisk and took a mighty bite. The dark cloud formed, but it did not have the time to try anything against its defeater, as Harry quickly changed to his ice phoenix, and ported across the door to the waiting goblins, before reconverting to his human form. The goblins and Harry heard an inhumane scream of frustration from the other side.

"One down, one to go," said Harry to the shell-shocked goblins.

"What was that?"

"A horcrux. That beast," pointing at Ragnok, "tried to double-cross me by not destroying it. Be warned, another attempt of the sort and you will lose your magic, as a species. You see what you were, so will you be."

Harry then took the High Elf body form, walking out of the bank, and leaving behind Goblins that were wetting their breeches out of fear. They knew who had given their race the push toward sentience, and who could take it back, should they disobey again.

"Let us go down to our cave, and render justice. This one is a dead weight, but we will keep him alive as a living example of what could happen to all of us, should we disrespect and disobey those we swore allegiance to. Griphook?"

"Yes?"

"For some reason, I do not trust the Potter account manager. You are new to the bank, and are as yet not implicated in its internal politics, so the account goes to you. Do not fail Mr. Potter."

"Sir, that represents 95% of our assets!"

"And that proves my point, Griphook. The old geezer told me 20%. Where is the balance? Find it, and put it back where it belongs, Griphook. And you know the penalty for stealing we exact from our customers; it is a two-way road. See to it that the penalty be paid in full, as quickly as possible!"

"That will ruin his family, and the bank, sir."

"Yes, I know. Gringott’s is now a front name only. We work for Mister Potter. He owns us until the end of time. He may not exercise his lording rights, but we know who is our lord from now on. We act accordingly. As for the current Potter manager, I have no compunction displaying his head on the bank porch, properly labeled. It will go a long way in re-establishing the customer trust in this institution, if not in us."

Harry made it back to the Leaky Cauldron, grumbling about double-faced goblins, and much he had enough of the magical world’s level of corruption. The lightning flashes that emanated from his dark figure made everyone run for cover. As he reached the bar, he took a deep breath, no use scaring the kids. They had their own issues. Walking in, he saw everyone was having a second dessert, and were done with it for the most part.

---

"Okay, next, and last, step: the magical menagerie. Those that go to Hogwarts, it is the Owl Emporium, the other, it is the menagerie. Since owls would be easier to get, we go there first, and you send the owls to Malfoy Manor. Then we go to the pet shop. Be aware you will have to care for the pet, so... do enquire as to what your potential pet eats! I do not want fights because a pet mouse got eaten by a pet adder! If you care, you should focus on cats and dogs, preferably of the medium size range. We do not need wolf-hounds! The bigger the dog, the more it eats, the more it shits! And you will have to pick that up and bring it to the manor’s manure disposal pile, not some place that is a playground! And no, the house elves will not do it! The pet is your responsibility, food, health, cleaning, and picking their little gifts! Got it?"

The children were ecstatic: they would have their own pets! Those that were destined to go to Hogwarts looked at the owls with awe. There was a huge variety, from barn owls to Eagle owls.

"Let the owl pick you. The best is to close your eyes and wait until one lands on your extended forearm. That will be the one." Harry demonstrated as he talked, only to be almost flattened by an owl that dive-bombed him.

"Wow there! What is the big idea?" exclaimed Harry as he opened his eyes to look at the owl that had chosen him in such a spectacular fashion.

"That owl has refused to get off the rafters ever since we got her in early spring," said a baffled owner.

Harry looked at the owl carefully. "Hey, it is you! I have spent a week in Sherwood forest looking for you, girl! I am so glad I found you again! Want to be my post owl?"

TCHIRP!

"Your mate died last winter? I am sorry to hear that."

TCHIRP!

"He could not feed himself anymore? That is terrible! But you look so young yourself!"

TCHIRP! THIRP! THIRP!

You are what? One thousand mating seasons old?! That puts you as a contemporary of Merlin!"

TCHIRPPPP!

"Holy shit! You were Grandpa Merlin’s owl?"

TCHIRP!

"Well, I should be neutered!"

TCHIRP!

"What do you mean, you will not let me get away with it?"

TCHIRP!

"Me? Your mate? I can not even..."

TCHIRP!

"Viewed that way, waiting a year or two after waiting for a thousand, what is it going to change..."

After petting the owl a few seconds, Harry looked at the awe-struck kids. "Owls, gals and guys?"

The search for an owl resumed, and quickly, two hundred owls found two hundred owners. Harry paid for everything, from the bird, to the cages, to the owl treats, the perches, and water and food bowls.

"Everything goes into your trunk, except your bird. We leave here and you tell them to meet you at the owlery found on the grounds of Malfoy Manor."

The flight of the owls was spotted by the muggles, whom called the zoo to ask if their aviary had been broken into. They verified, and everything was in order.

"Menagerie, next! Those that have owls, help the younger ones pick a proper pet. Remember, ask for the living conditions of the pet; after all, a crocodile may look cute, but I do not think you would find it cute in the swimming pool in the early morning, when it is waiting for its breakfast to fall in!"

It took until closure to give the one hundred and fifty looking for a pet the chance to find one they could care for. Mostly dogs and cats, but a few toads, spiders, and chameleons were added to the mix.

"Off we go! Remember, guys, toads, spiders and chameleons go in hibernation if the room temperature gets too cold. So, that means you need to monitor their habitat temperature daily, low and high! That is why there are those drums on the inside with ink pens. Check that the temperature is stable, and you will enjoy your pet for a long time. Portal time. Our owls should be halfway to the manor by now."

The kids and their adult menders walked through the portal and Harry closed it on an alley that would never be the same again. The group had launched a new dressing fashion, at least for the children: integral nudity. Quite a few parents would have serious issues with the new fad, but youth his one thing going for it: drive!

---

The rest of the vacation, amounting to less than ten days, was spent training the dogs and cats of the youngsters. With the help of Harry and Sirius, whom changed to his dog shape for the benefit of demonstrations, the numerous dogs quickly learned to ask for the door, where to pee, and not to, not to chew on the legs of the chairs, tables, and other tempting targets. Coming to the call, walking on the leash, and keeping guard were also added, as well as team-work to protect a child. The concerted effort probably saved numerous carpets, and reduced the number of accidents to a minimum.

---

On August thirtieth, the Queen visited the manor, taking everyone by surprise.

"We were expecting you to bring Sir Lord Potter to the Camelot Throne Room, Sir Black. What is the hold-out?" she asked as she entered the dining hall just as the children were sitting for their noon lunch. Most of them had no knowledge of who she was, but knew of Camelot, so they fell silent, looking at Sirius with wide eyes.

"Prince Lord Potter has staunchly declined to even get near Buckingham Palace, and has refused to explain why."

The Queen looked at the rather hectic group of children, searching for one in particular. She spotted Draco and Neville framing a rather well-build lad of eleven, that seemed to have ‘predator’ written all over him. That must be the lad she was looking for.

"And what, may I ask, has you refusing a royal invitation, Sir Lord Potter?"

"I can not enter that castle until my mission is complete. That should be done in a fortnight."

"And what mission is that?"

"To dispose of Voldemort once and for all, thus avenging the line of Ambrosius and my family."

"A fortnight, you say. We are willing to wait that long, but no longer. The Kingdom is standing on one leg, and it is getting tired!"

"Cranes have done that to sleep for generation. I see no reason a kingdom can not do the same."

"Because the kingdom is not a crane, Sir Potter."

The Queen then talked to the kids, picking on some food as she walked between them. She had grown a bit used to Draco and Neville’s nudity, but seeing three hundred fifty kids interacting in this state as if it was normal had her think over her prudish education. Maybe clothes were the cause of so much pain because they helped hypocrites get away with their dirty secrets. She left later that day for Balmoral, with a promise that, as soon as the task was done, Harry would visit her at Buckingham Palace.

"I must tell you that Sir Remus Lupin visited Our home not long ago. He asked for some military support to protect your children, Lord Potter. We agreed. Two divisions will be outside platform 9 and ¾, and the SAS magical division will be on the platform. Furthermore, We ordered the train to be searched from one end to the other. However, We must tell you that nothing guarantees safety."

"I am aware of that fact, your Majesty."

"What worries Us the most, Lord Potter, is the fact that some children may well have malevolent intentions towards you and your children. Once you are on board the train, the SAS will patrol the train’s hallways, but nothing can be made sure. Remember that a wand is a weapon. What bothers Us the most is that children travel armed, and can use these weapons for a yes or a no."

"I plan to train them. I believe that keeping them grouped will ease security issues, if not remove them all."

"Train them? You have very little time left for that!"

"What I mean by training is how to stay grouped. I will endeavor to give them their marching orders, and get them ready to board the train as if it was a well-oiled exercise."

"We wish we could see that. It takes months of discipline to get Our troops to walk in step, without stepping on each others’ heels."

"Ask one of your SAS to record the thing. You might learn new tricks!"

"Williams! You stay here and record the training Lord Potter applies to the children! We want to see how he does it!"

"Yes, your Majesty," replied the Royal photographer.

"I better get going to Buckingham Palace. Do not forget your promise! A fortnight!" said the Queen as she boarded her limousine and left the Malfoy residence.

---

"How do you plan to do that training, oh so smart trainer?" asked the photographer with a point of irony.

"Watch me!"

Harry let out a shrill whistle and everyone moved to sit around him. Once everyone was in place, he stood up.

"The Queen has informed me that there remains a risk of getting assaulted while boarding the Hogwarts Express. We need to prepare. Since we can not train you into magic quickly enough, I have decided to create port keys for each of you. That way, should we be threatened, we will find ourselves back here in a flash. You will not need to do anything. I studied how port keys are made, and detected it was possible for one to activate by detecting a magical pulse. That is how they will be keyed to activation. However, we still need to ensure that everyone is accounted for. For this purpose, you will be divided into groups. Four groups of fifty each, under the leadership of Draco and Neville. Draco, Neville, that means you are responsible for one hundred children each! Keep a count at all times!"

"Yes, General Potter!"

"And you better believe it! It is a question of life or death! Each one of you will have your stuff in a small purse, tied to your hips. The wand and the wand holder will be on the wand arm at all times. Remember! Will and focus! You need not even say a word! The wand will help the focus part, but it is the will that shall give energy to your spells, should you need to use them, but, again, the port keys should be enough protection. Now, select which one of Draco or Neville you will work under!"

After some adjustments, two groups of one hundred were formed.

"Draco, Neville, divide your group in two. I want fifty per group, aligned in rows of 10, for five rows. Move!"

Another ten minutes was needed for things to be organized.

"Okay. Look around each other! You know who stands to your left, you know who stands to your right, and you know who stands in front of you. Memorize these faces.

"And these asses!" said the Denis the Menace wannabe, producing a flurry of laughter.

"And these asses, as so well mentioned a smart ass. Next! I do not want people stepping on each other’s heels. To prevent this, each row must be separated from the one behind by two steps. That means those behind the front row back two steps; those behind the second row back off four steps, then six, then eight, then ten steps. Try it. I know it is hard, but you will be able to practice this. The first try is the hardest."

The children did as asked, and after a few comic mishaps, everyone was in place.

"As you just saw, this is not a given. The best is to take your position properly from the start. I plan to open a portal to enter the train’s platform, and you will travel through it row by row. As you reach the other side you will take your place behind Draco and Neville. To prevent any mix, each group will be set separate from the other by ten steps, creating specific, distinct groups. On boarding the train, the first group will fall in line and follow me, with Draco and Neville keeping the count at the train’s boarding point. Any questions so far?"

No one raised a hand or commented.

"Okay." Harry snapped his finger and a frame appeared in the field. "That is the size of the portal. Draco will lead you across the ‘portal’ and see to it that each of his group is rearranged properly on the other ‘side’, then it will be the turn of Neville’s groups. We will repeat this process though the ‘portal’ until it becomes second nature to everyone. As you can see, we will be able to view how things go on the field, but it will not be the same with the real portal. It is imperative that this is fine-tuned. We will spend an hour doing this then we will ‘board’ the train. The process is similar, but in this case I will be leading the first block, followed by the second, at which time Draco will have counted one hundred, and board the train, followed by Neville’s first and second group. If all goes well, when Neville boards, we get another one hundred and the door is locked by one of the magical SAS guys. Everyone follows?"

No one said a thing.

"Okay. Portal practice begins."

The practice was a right mess, as kids all wanted to rush through the narrow gate, some even cheated by passing beside it. But gradually, things settled, especially when those that tried to run were met with icy water jets.

The train boarding exercise went much better, as discipline began to settle in. After an hour of boarding and de-boarding a train, the kids were getting tired, so Harry called a break to the exercise.

"Dessert for everyone! We rest an hour, then re-do the exercise once more. That will be the last one for the day. Do not forget, you need to be organized in your proper group, in your proper position! Patience is the name of the game."

The children repeated the exercise twice daily for the rest of their stay at the manor, and gradually, everything was ironed out. It became second nature for the children to walk into the back yard field and practice. They even learned, for the fun of it, some basic moves, such as walking, about face, left and right turn, and were even beginning the more complex ‘rotate to the rear’ move that changed the front row for the one right behind it. Had the Queen seen this, she would have been shocked.

"I think we are ready, Harry," said Draco, the night before departure.

"I hope so! We will see when we board and de-board at Hogwarts."